Gossip!

All right!!!! Gossip!!!! If you're anything like me, you love gossip. Knowing all the juicy facts you're not supposed to know, learning about every insignifigant detail about every possible thing in the galaxy! The knowledge! The power! BWA HA HA HA HA! Oh, sorry about that. I kinda lost it for a second there. Don't mind me, I've been drinking the Keronian Ale just a little too much. Anyway, I'll share all my knowledge about people with you that you are interested in hearing. So pull up a seat and ask away, and if I know about someone that you want to know about, I'll tell you all I know about that person. Anything for a customer!

Roger Wilco - I'm sure you and many of your species have heard of Roger Wilco. Roger was a janitor serving on the Arcada, which had scientists trying to make a Star Generator in order to save their world of Xenon. The Sariens, under the command of Sludge Vohaul, took the Star Generator and destroyed the Arcada, but Roger managed to get away with the Star Generator data cartridge and find out how to destroy the Star Generator. He destroyed the Star Generator, which resulted in the wipeout of the Sarien race (no big loss) and the Deltaur starship. But Sludge Vohaul came after Roger for revenge and Roger learned of his plans to take over the universe with robotic salesmen. Roger escaped his execution, stole a ship, flew to Sludge's hideout, turned off Sludge's life support systems, and managed to get away from the hideout before it self-destructed. Roger went into a deep-sleep in order to avoid dying from lack of oxygen in the pod, and was eventually picked up by a trash ship. He hijacked the Aluminum Mallard from the trash and used it to leave. He then learned from a secret message from the Two Guys from Andromedia, Mark & Scott, that Elmo Pug, the capital of Scumsoft, was keeping them hostage. Roger rescued the two guys and humiliated Elmo Pug, leaving him with nothing but embarrasment, some cheap booze and a bruised ego. Later, while Rog was kicking back at a bar, (which by the way is not nearly as good as this bar) Sludge Vohaul, who made a copy of himself on a disk before he died (don't ask me, I just give the gossip) was about to kill him, when Roger Wilco's son from the future came and saved him by sending him into the future. Roger learned all about his son and that Sludge had taken over Xenon! Sludge got into the body of Roger Wilco Jr. and tried to kill Roger, but Roger defeated Sludge and his son told him about his future wife. Roger, who was sent back to his time, joined Star-Con as a cadet. He passed the SAT test (if you ask me, I'll bet he cheated) and was promoted to captain of the SCS Eureka, a garbage scow (figures). He eventually learned about a genetic soup that would turn people into horribly ugly mutants! He also learned that a higher ranking officer, Captain Quirk, was responsible for it! Roger, with the help of his future wife, Beatrice Wankmeister, defeated Quirk and the soup. But, Rog was demoted to Janitor, Second Class because of the destruction of the SCS Eureka. He served on board the SCS DeepShip 86. The DeepShip was invaded by Bjorn's, a half-man half-kitchen appliance race, who turned everyone but Roger into lemon snow-cones. While they were draining the power out of the ship, Roger defeated them and restored everybody back to their normal selves (Space Quest 6 Demo). Later on, an old crone named Sharpei who was scared of dying, tried to take Roger Wilco's body to live in it. Instead, she kidnapped Roger's friends, Stellar Santiage. Roger, with the help of a doctor with a big brain, got shrunk down to a microsize, went inside Stellar and got rid of Sharpei, who was a very small robot taking over her body. Now, Roger waits for his next adventure. BUT THERE WILL BE NO MORE ADVENTURES IF SPACE QUEST 7 IS CANCELLED! Visit my Save Space Quest 7 Page to help!

Sludge Vohaul - Sludge is by far Roger Wilco's greatest and worst enemy! (Hey, that means the same thing!) His past is unknown. There was a good doctor named Slash Vohaul who made the Star Generator. Whether Sludge is his brother or father or roomate or something or is he is Slash with a different name is unknown. One way or another, Sludge was the master of all the Sariens. He used them to capture the Star Generator and was going to torch Xenon until Roger Wilco came and destroyed the Star Generator and the Sariens. Sludge had escaped death and hired some gorilla-like ugly humans to capture Roger and wanted to make him a slave to torture horribly. Roger escaped this death and came back to Sludge. There he learned Sludge's evil plan to launch robotic salesmen all around the galaxy and take control of the people through these salesmen. Roger cut Sludge's life support system and stopped the salesmen from invading Xenon, but before Sludge died, he made a copy of himself on disks (amazing what you can do with 3 and a half inch floppies, huh?) which floated through space for a generation. People of Xenon discovered it and ran it and Sludge took control of the computers. He controled Xenon and made slaves of the people. He and his evil band of the Sequel Police had taken control, their only opposition were some Rebels, who were still a major threat. Sludge knew they wouldn't exist if he went back in time and killed Roger Wilco. So he sent the Sequel Police to kill Roger, but one of the rebels, Roger Wilco Jr, saved Roger by sending him through to the time in which Sludge had control of Xenon. Roger confronted Sludge, who had taken the body of Roger Wilco Jr. Roger defeated Sludge and put his brain back in the computer, restoring Roger Wilco Jr. Then, he set the computer to self destruct, which it did. Sludge died then, and to this day has never been heard from again, but is this truly the end of this villian?

Beatrice Wankmeister - Beatrice is the future wife on Roger Wilco. She joined Star-Con and was very good at what she did. She always scored the highest on tests and quizzes and eventually became an ambassador. She came to where Roger was stationed to talk to fellow Star-Con agents about the "Sludge Bandits" who were dumping the genetic soup all over the galaxy. She met Roger cleaning the floors as a punishment for being late for class. She knew he had defeated the Sariens a while back and was disappointed with him, although he did feel something for him. She worked with Captain Quirk to try and stop the genetic soup, but Quirk turned out to be the man behind the soup. He used it on the crew of the SCS Goliath, which was the ship they were on. Bea escaped to a nearby planet. While hiding, she jumped a man who she thought was one of the crew, infected with the soup. It turned out to be Roger Wilco. They almost fell down a cliff, but Roger got her to safety and they escaped to the SCS Eureka. but not before Bea was shot with the gentic soup. Roger put her into a cryofreeze sleep to slow the transformation process. Roger's pet face-hugger, Spike, had an idea of how to get the soup out of her, which involved reversing some sort of wierd techno-thing on the beaming up thing. It worked, but Bea was put back into her sleep because of how tired she was. When she awoke, the SCS Eureka was about to self-destruct because Quirk was taking over it in the form of genetic soup. Roger got her safely on board the SCS Goliath where they escaped from Quirk. Bea hoped to spend lots of time with Roger, but Roger was demoted to Janitor Second Class for consulting with a female of higher rank and destroying the Eureka. But they will meet again, for it is their destiny to get married and have a son.

Roger Wilco Jr. - Roger Wilco Jr. was born to Roger Wilco and Beatrice Wankmeister. When Roger Jr. got older, Sludge Vohaul took control of Xenon through the computer systems. Inspired by the bravery of Roger Wilco, many people revolted against Sludge. They were rebels and Roger Wilco Jr. was one of their leaders. When he learned that Sludge was sending back some of the Sequel Police to kill Roger Wilco, his father, he and another rebel went back to stop Sludge. Armed with huge hairdryer-like guns, they grabbed Roger from the Sequel Police and sent him back to their time. Roger Jr. was captured by the Sequel Police and the other rebel was killed. Roger Wilco Jr was help captive by Sludge Vohaul for quite a long time. Sludge Vohaul liked the body of Roger Wilco Jr, although he hated Roger Wilco. But he thought it would be great revenge to Roger and a great way to get a body if he took Roger Wilco Jr's body and lived in it. Sludge started to make the needed arrangements and preparations for the computer transformation. When he finally got into Roger Jr.'s body, Roger Wilco himself found Sludge. Roger confronted Sludge in his son's body and fought Sludge back into the computer. Then, Rog put Roger Jr back into his body and they escaped as the computers with Sludge in it were destroyed. With time to talk, Roger Jr. explained a little about what happened, why he saved Rog and about his future wife, but the way he talked about her, it sounded like she was dead. This is unknown. Then, Roger Jr. sent Roger Wilco back to his own time.

Stellar Santiago - Stellar Santiago is a respected and fairly high-ranking member of Star-Con. She met Roger Wilco while serving for Star-Con and developed a crush on him. On her shore leave, she came to where Roger was, the SCS DeepShip 86, to see him. But he had already gone down to Polysorbate LX for his own shore leave and forgot his communicator, so Stellar couldn't call him. Then, she got his distress call and came down to the planet to help him out. She saved him from getting killed by Sharpei. (but she didn't know anything about that at the time) Stellar told Roger about her crush, but Roger told her he had to stay true to Bea. Later, when Roger was cleaning the room of Sharpei, Sharpei tried to kill him with poison. Somehow, Stellar found out what would happen, beamed in and saved Roger. Everyone thought Stellar died because of the gas, but she sent a quick distress call to Roger. While unconcious, Sharpei put several small robotic bugs called Nanites into her in attempts to take over her body so Sharpei would live longer. Roger managed to shrink himself down to the nanite form and defeat Sharpei and the Nanites. Stellar and Roger then rode together in the DeepShip 86 and Stellar hinted that she knew Roger Wilco's next assignment. BUT THERE WILL BE NO ASSIGNMENT IF THERE IS NO SPACE QUEST 7! Visit my save Space Quest 7 Site.

Being a bartender, I learn new gossip every day! I'll be sure to have more soon. Check back here, or E-Mail me and tell me you want to be put on the Ulence Flats Update List and I'll let you know when I get some new ones!

Click here to go back to the Keronian Bar

Space Quest, Roger Wilco, Keronia, Ulence Flats, The Keronian Bar and all the Space Quest Stuff is copyright of Sierra On-Line. But this page belongs to Colin McEvoy.